I thought this picture was appropriate for today. It represents my inability to express what is happening in the heart and mind. It is almost as something in your throat is blocking all the words. Once you give up on self-expression your ability to think and see things around you become clouded, blurred as well. You lose yourself, you become irritable, stressed and tired. Whenever I have an idea to draw or paint and have no time to put it on paper or canvas I always say that "I am chocking!" I think this picture is it. It is exactly what I feel when I can't make art when I want and how I want it. And sketching on a restaurant tissue won't cut it.
I think we all feel the same way. Weather we write, sing, dance, or just talk with our friends. We must have an outlet to do it. If we can't, we mentally choke.
I painted this when I worked at a private language school. I worked from 1 p.m. til 9 p.m. Then I would come home, eat something and try to enjoy some time with my husband. My son was not in plans just yet. We had two cats and lived in Kashiwara, Osaka-fu. We would cycle to Osaka on weekends and enjoy the big city life. But there was little time for me to spread out the paints and work on my art. So you see even when I spent time doing pleasurable, fun things, I wasn't satisfied until I expressed myself artistically. Because that is what defines me. This is how I express myself. What defines you? How do you express yourself? Who are you?
2 comments:
I'm Flo, and I didn't know you had such a fantastic expressing talent. Today is my birthday and I often think about you, your husband and your son. One of the reason is that even if we didn't meet for a long time, you inspired me a lot. My travel would have not be the same without you. The other reason, is for what you wrote in my travel book : "Keep eating good food, it'll make you happy :-)". And it is what it does everytime, without failing. And everytime, without failing, it reminds me of you.
You were such a perfect introduction to Japan ...
What defines me is the love I share with everything around me, trying to communiate with nature and other people. That's why I enjoy travelling and discovering new surroundings, nature and culture. My favourite way to express myself is through dance, but I also like making music and learning how to cook.
Thanks a lot for sharing your talent with us ... and also for asking this questions ;-)
My dear Florian! First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I am signing right now...This is a such a warm comment. You are awesome to say such nice words. I think there is a reason why people's paths cross. It is either to teach us something about our faults or to inspire to go on and experience constantly new territories. It is incredible when we meet people like you who bring so much enthusiasm for life! I want to thank you for that.
Thank you for answering my question. When I write and pour out my heart i often think about the reader. I am trying to imagine his/her face, his/her life and what the person thinks and feels. I think i need a bit of a dialogue in my blog.
Alek remembers you so well. He often talk about the tall gentlemen who stayed with us in Chichibu. To us, you are a good friend. I hope our paths cross again. If you ever need a place to stay you know where to call. Keep in touch and keep reading, friend!
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