Adam and Eve

I brought a painting from the storage in order to take a picture for this post. I put it at the entrance by the shoes and forgot about it. When my son came back home from school he noticed it right away. Well, it is hard not to! It is big and orange with two blue, nude statues! My son was very quick to comment. "EEEyuuuuuu! Why are they naked! Disgusting! Two bare bums!" I explained that they were Adam and Eve and since they lived in paradise, they had no shame, hence, no need for clothes. This entire idea seemed very peculiar and left my son very much unconvinced. 

Adam and Eve, Toronto. 1995

This painting used to hang in my bedroom above the bed when my husband and I were still dating. It was very liberating to love and be loved. I haven't had shame ever since to love and be loved. This painting symbolises exactly that. It celebrates liberty to leave nothing for yourself and give everything to the one you love. No need for clothes to cover. There is nothing to cover. Plain honesty and openness. And even if haters hate, mockers mock, and tempters tempt, the feelings stand strong, unshaken, undiminished! So in my version devil fails. Call me a romantic and naive, but if you believe in it, it becomes the truth!

This painting has been slightly damaged over the years of hanging on the wall, hosting my two finches flying free all over the room, and ruthless storage for years. But it hasn't lost it's charm.

Sunday's Unanticipated Adventures

Yesterday turned out very unexpectedly, incredibly interesting! The original plan for yesterday was to join the Aboriginal Culture Week festivities at Fort York. On Saturday we were so tired that we just went for a walk around Danforth. And yesterday morning we experienced a very highly levels of lazy Sunday symptoms. So we got to Fort York at 3. There were only a few food and cultural goods tables left and it seemed like nothing more was going to happen there. Therefore, after an hour of idling through the grass and admiring the ever-changing weather, we decided to go to Harbourfront for a short walk and from there take a streetcar home. 

Colouring Pages, 2016

On our way we stumbled upon Billy Bishop Toronto Airport and decided to walk the tunnel under Lake Ontario to the airport island. It was a great adventure for us because we had never had a chance to be there. So we took a stroll around the area, the parking lot, the water front and ended up at the ferry dock. At the waiting area we befriended a nice stewardess or a flight attendant, if you will, who was from Montreal and on her way to Scotland. We had a great conversation about flying and travelling. My son listened so attentively it was actually very surprising how concentrated he was. The ferry ride was very smooth and short. Upon docking to the Toronto side we exchanged our goodbyes with the flight attendant and wished her a pleasant flight. Who knows maybe one day, when my son is a pilot they will meet again.

 After that our feet took us to the Harbourfront. From afar we noticed this majestic high mast ship that stood out from other tiny yachts there. We agreed to take a closer look. After taking a billion pictures of my son jumping we were ready to move on. But my son wanted to jump onto a raft-looking-flat boat-thingy. I refused in fear that it would just float away or such with my one and only son on it. We exchanged a few opinions and my son started to cry. He hid his face in my shirt and rubbed his tears deep into the fabric to make his point. 

We stood there for a moment when two men whom I noticed came off the majestic ship asked me if my son wanted to go on their flat boat-thingy. Then, they asked me if it was ok to take my son on it. Since they were boat people and knew what they were doing, and they said it was their floating device, I agreed. We took a few pictures and my son was back his happy self! After that the two men made us an offer which we couldn't refuse. They gave us a tour of that majestic, tall ship that caught our attention!!!! Wow! They took us around the top, and took us under. Demonstrated how they fire a cannon and roll their spotless sails. I don't know what their motivation was but most likely without even realising it, they made our day! They gave us an adventure of which we shall talk about for days to come!! They also inspired my son to study to be a captain, marine captain!

Ode To Youth

So many facts escape me already! Is it what getting old is all about? Everything that is not now becomes a distant past? I remember as if it was yesterday how my high school friend and I were walking through a park in my small town, Tomaszow Lubelski and made fun of things, joke, plan. I remember how after one of our stormy Polish classes with our very dramatic and eccentric Polish language teacher, my friend and I decided to apply to a theatre school when we graduated from high school. We walked excited crushing autumn leaves under our boots. I remember having that thought for the longest time afterwards and that was all I could think about. I planned, memorised the lost, famous monologues and poems in Polish language, got ready to take the acting world by the horns!

Six months after that day my father died. Another six months after that my group of friends, my class of humanists, the only class that dared to escape school on the national "skipping day", was celebrating my going away, leaving Poland for Canada. My plans got altered. My future unknown. I am still trying to find myself.

I got a little taste of what it would be like to be recognised for acting. My 5 minutes of fame. In high school, I entered a polish contest for the best interpretation of poems. One of my favourites and the ones that I knew by heart was Ode to Youth by the Polish poetic prophet, Adam Mickiewicz. That contest was attended by only one of my friends. Non of my family came. Just one, yet how faithful friend. She watched me from her seat how I ripped my heart open for all the audience. I gave my all that day. When I finished there was a silence and I looked at my friend for certainty, approval, security. She had tears in her eyes. She made my day. She made me feel accomplished and strong. She gave me an award on a scale of Oscars!

I earned the third place that day. But collecting that prize and three hundred dollars was nothing compared to the recognition. After the award ceremony, the Polish consul's or ambassador's wife, one of the judges, walked up to me, shook my hand and said, "Thank you for that! I have never heard Ode to Youth like that! It was such an eye opener, and what an original interpretation. It was like to hear it for the first time!" Now, that was my real award!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93gIZ0jsBJk

In case you don't know what Ode to Youth is about, it is about longing to your homeland. It is a cry to remembrance and fight for her! I felt it. I knew it. I said what was in my heart. I believed it. In my heart I won the grand prize.

Black Creek Pioneer Village. April 16th, 2005

My friend, my dear friend! I found you again! I keep looking for you and keep finding you! I found you after 12 years today by complete accident! If it wasn't for my son to chose Broadview Station instead of Pape I would have passed by without even knowing that you were right by my door!! I am not letting you go this time, my friend! No way! No way!

Today 20 Years Ago

Today 20 years ago my husband and I eloped. I remember the weather and the atmosphere of that day. It was a dark morning that grew into a nice day with sun and rain fighting each other for attention, the same as today. I remember the dress with spaghetti straps and simple shoes I bought at Le Chateau. We invited our witnesses without telling them what was about to happen. So it happened. Toronto City Hall. 11:00.

I lost myself in that man irreversibly. One and only, forever. Together, we passes our years of dating, and that is done. Together, we passed our years of romance, and that is done. We passed our years of fun and travel and acquiring grounding. Together, we are living and learning how to be decent 40 something year olds, adults, parents, but most of all partners. I am not saying that it is all always good or all always bad, but we are going through it together and learning how to be the best at life as we can. And always together.

When I was in an elementary school in Poland, my friend gave me a card with a picture of a boat on a river. At the bottom it said, "love is looking in the same direction." Each night when I go to bed I ask myself if today was love. I have to say that my husband of twenty years and I have a fixed gaze on the same point in place and time. We are going strong. I wish for us to have this honesty, love, and respect now and forever. And I wish for us that bringing help to each other to understand one another was easy and automatic.

Today we celebrated by spending time together. We went to museums, shared our views, ate food as any respectful foodie pair should. Leaned on each other's arms and hugged on busses.  Held hands when running away from the rain. I loved today. Today was a great day. It was a day full of peace, memories and feeling of security. We ate at a pub we visited the last time on April 17th, 2005. It was the day after our Catholic Church wedding. So we sort of brought the two ceremonies together. It was only the right way to celebrate. I had a proper English chicken pot pie and my husband of 20 years had his fish and chips. Yay to us! I raise a glass for another 20 years together in peace and harmony.

The Things I Miss. Chapter I

I miss having an amazing co-worker who will spend time listening to Zaz in the locker room with me.
I miss eating school lunch and talking about carbs.
I miss cycling to school and bitch about humid with my friend who happens to cycle to school too.
I miss smoking a cigarette or two in a park and washing it down with a nice cold canned beverage.
I miss being a good bad girl or bad good girl, it all depends how you look at it.
I miss saying Dude too much.
I miss inventing new, females versions of that word!
I miss planning trips with our kids.
I miss making friendship bracellettes in the library.
I miss being encouraged and encourage to be the best.
I miss walking and feeling like a movie star with my Hollywood friend!

I miss eating cakes on the parking lot of the cake shop!
I miss teaching with the best co-teacher ever!
I miss being funny.
I miss having Christmas Eve with my best friend!
I miss being difficult to understand and eccentric with someone who understands!
I miss sharing secrets.
I miss bitching honestly.
I miss drinking Chu-hi.
I miss having a friend that will catch me when I am falling.
I miss having the best ideas and executing them.
I miss producing the most creative English bulletin boards.
I miss learning about technology and the brave new world from my friend.
I miss listening to stories about adventurous, groupie years!
I miss being understood when we both raise our brows in disbelief.
I miss trips to Costco right when they close.
I miss sitting at a temple after school and practice a good, old art of gossip.

Life Goes On. We go on. But somethings stay. They will never pass. Thank you, friend!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWJUhRLoN4w&list=PLfgnN_zN2ALc2NcSUxZMAYKvwOLjgbQos&index=19

Happy Monday! Hope you had a great weekend!

Gemini

I realised today that in the recent days I haven't been talking a lot. It is all in my head. In general, I live and breath in my head, But it just has been so much more in the last week that I stray away from a conversation. Hmm. I am puzzled. At the same time, I have developed a taste for some home decoration/renovation. I love it. I have started with my kitchen and I don't mean sushi making and extravagant cake making! I am talking about wallpaper and cupboard decor! I am very energised. I wish I was more energised towards painting, though. After finishing the last portrait I began my son's portrait but I didn't feel satisfied with the sketches and dropped it...for a while. I will give it a couple of days and start again.

I guess I am just saying how lucky I feel to have this comfort to be this creative and have time to do it. I am so lucky to have a husband who supports the artist in me. I love him so much it hurts sometimes! My sweet Gemini!

Gemini

My husband and son are both Gemini. Here is how it works. My husband will go to a club or a party or a wedding with me. He will say that he is just not the kind of a guy to dance. He will swear by it. Then, by 10:00-ish will basically give a solo, a show on the floor. By the time we come home, he will want to take tango lessons with me. And let me tell you, this man has some good moves on the dance floor!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIN3IE3DHqc

Grace Jones sings one of my husband's most beloved tangos. Some of my friends will enjoys this one as well, I think. I remember sitting in Kamikawa's Melrose Place and searching all night for all the possible versions of this one while drinking merrily all the way! Let the good times return, friends!

The Painting is All Done!

I took a day off all my other chores and firmly decided to finish V's portrait. So after a busy Monday the portrait is finally is here. From the beginning to start. A few weeks ago my son's dance partner showed up for a dance practice in this amazing head piece and a beautiful deep coloured dress. I just had to take some photos. Also, i knew right away that this was a material for a painting. Just beautiful! There is something Frida Kahlo about her here and the way she posed for me. Absolutely beautiful!

At first I made some delicate sketches on a parchment paper. I planned to to some ink painting on parchment  but when I transferred the sketch onto canvass and started to paint I was very satisfied with the way it was going. Then, after a week long break from painting, I finally have it completed.

I think I will do my son's portrait next. But this time I will try my idea with ink on parchment paper. I would like it to turn somewhat see through like stained glass. I am so excited! I can't wait to show you!

I Won't Go Hungry

Last Saturday my son had a graduation and a closing ceremony at the Japanese school. As every year it ended with a potluck lunch. As soon as it was announced that the lunch was open all the children rushed to the tables to be the first ones to pick up food. My son was one of them. After a while he came to me with a plate full of food. And as he sat down he began pointing out pieces of karaage (fried chicken), chicken fingers, and couple of other goodies that he collected with me in mind. I cannot stress how proud and happy I was that he remembered about me! My only thought was that I would not ever go hungry with my son at my side! My son took care of me so well! And then he disappeared again into the never ending line up of people, adult members of the school. After a short while he came back again with chips, poky sticks, and more chips. "Mommy, all other things that you like you can pick up yourself" he said. I quickly answered not expecting anything, "But baby! Look at the line up! It will be impossible for me!" As soon as I finished the sentence my son disappeared once again. I kept seeing him as if he was surfing on waves. He appeared and disappeared in the sea of lined up people. After a moment he came back to our bench again with another plate of goodies. My baby, my nine year old took care of me like a grown up man! I will not hide that a tear surfaced and choked me for a moment.  

Endless Onigiri from Colouring Pages

If you let people be the best they can they will be just that and beyond! My nine year old son taught me so much! I have to carry this weekend in my heart forever to remember that lesson. I can only be thankful for such an amazing son.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKaXY4IdZ40
When You Believe. Whitney Huston and Mariah Carey

Cheerios

So we have a cat. Her name is Cheerios. However, her name can change any minute. My son swears that she comes to him when he calls her name. Me, I have my doubts. So we will see about that. She is a lovely , independent, tortoise shell five year old girl. She is very verbal and outspoken like a proper girl should be. So far she has explored every inch of the apartment and is now resting under my son's bed. We love her already!

I painted this in the last days in Tokushima. We were packing and getting ready to leave for Osaka while this painting was drying in a corner. At the end of our stay this was one of the last things to pack and I noticed that our cats, somehow stuck a piece of used exacto-knife onto the painting. I have no idea how they did it but it was so typical of our cats to get a result like this. Brilliant! So we have a fish swimming in the sea, or a naked butt. Depending on a person. And the piece of that metal goes really well, i think.

In the end I left it there because it became a part of the painting and part of it's creation. Today i notice there is no signature. Oh well! It will just have to stay that way. I am onto greater things now!

Cigar Cutters and the News

Today I start with a strong opinion, weather you like it or not here it comes! It is my blog after all!

Recent news makes me really upset, even angry. Today's newspapers, for instance, had reports of two different, very vicious sexual assaults on women. Are there more of them now or it is just popular to write about them these days? Either way they angry me. This morning I read about a woman, a police officer who went for celebratory drinks with her colleagues. Her fellow police officers! She should have been safer than ever, right? Nope. They were the ones who decided to have fun with her while she lay there completely paralysed by the effects of heavy drinking. All three at the same time! So if they are to serve and protect us, I cannot possibly imagine the criminals in this country!

Rape Must Be Eradicated from Our Society! Respect Should Replace it. And Those Who Cannot Grasp That Concept Should Live a Painful and Lonely Life! Tell Me If I Am Wrong!

You know I am a devoted believer in the existence of God. And at the same time, as an Anthropologist, I am devoted to the Theory of Evolution that has been supported by the scientific evidence that all living organisms change and evolve based on their need to survive and protect their species. So I got one for you. Aren't all these men afraid that they are playing a very crucial role in this evolution process? Aren't they afraid that one day women will develop a cigar-cutter-like organ in their vaginas to protect their species from the most unsuitable specimen? At the same time, stopping them from procreating, period! You know what I mean, right? A skunk has that stink, a bear has claws, Eurasian roller bird vomits a repulsive matter all over itself to turn away its predators. You know what I am saying? How come human female hasn't developed anything of that sort just yet? I pray to God every night that one day it will just happen. And then women will not ask the law if we can or cannot have it! Our daughters will be able to just think it, will it, and justice will be done! I seriously wish for that.

Today I am sending lots of love and hope to all the women I know! Dear girlfriends let's concentrate and start developing that organ, for the sake of our daughters and granddaughters! It is amazing what power of the mind can do! I strongly believe we can do it! 

How Much Does It Mean to me

I have five sketchbooks of circles. I have developed this interest in drawing everything not with a straight line but in circles half way through my contract while working with a person with mental disability. I new from day one of that contract that I would need a good way to relax and stabilise my nerves. It was the most challenging and the most "think on your feet" jobs I have ever had. It could be quiet and just looking out the window one minute and dealing with a major crisis the next. I have done it only for a year and three months but there are people who chose that as their career. My hat goes off to them! Very noble and giving. So satisfying. I guess I could do that till I retire as well but there is a dear price you pay if you don't take care of yourself mentally!

It started as just drawing anything that comes to my mind. Geometric shapes, trees, flowers, bubbles, etc. But then I realised that circles really relaxed me and calmed my thoughts and anxieties. I said to myself, "if that's what you want, do it, no matter how simple!" So that is all I did. Circles for therapy. It have worked for me ever since!

At the end of each day I would never know whether my client would walk out of the program happily or he would require a lot of persuasion and tactic. So whenever he would agree at my first request to go out and wait for his ride I would in haste pack up my things and leave right away before he was able to change his mind. But one day by accident I packed up an open coffee thermos. And in the bag went all my belongings and my sketchbook! Only 15-20 minutes later I felt something hot coming down my lap while sitting on the car. I could feel blood rushing in my veins, tears flaring in my eyes. A person next to me giggled. Giggled!!! Months of my work destroyed and all he could do is giggle! I was ready to kill or at least seriously break bones! But thanks to the very sketchbook, I contained my anger and annoyance. Weeks later I decided to restore the damage. And here is the result of the cover up of that terrible day. This is just a single example of how I tried to fix the coffee stains with more coffee. I fixed all 20 of my babies in that sketchbook. That is love.

Happy Wednesday friends!

Cats and Snake Suits

So it is official! We are getting a cat. We are getting a cat from the Humane Society. We have decided that we would give some older one a chance of having a family and a home. So yesterday my son and I paid a visit to the Humane Society on River Street and found a very friendly cat who happen to notice us as well. His name is Dude. My son loved that name! I loved his lovely nature. He was very affectionate and wanted attention all the time. So I think he is a good match. He will be adopting us on Friday. Today we did a bit of shopping for supplies. All we need is a poop box and we are all set! The Dude is coming home!

Jappinski in Canada

Jappinski was a German Sheppard of cats. He would bring out fear in the biggest and bravest of people. There weren't to many who would actually get a chance to touch this big guy! But on one occasion, when we were getting married, a friend of ours had come from Japan to join us in celebrations and this was what he managed to accomplish. You see him here sitting so proud and cool!

You rock my friend! Even our cats new that! Thank you for coming all the way to Canada to be with us on such a big day! You made that day even more special that would we could ever imagine! I don't think we  had a chance to properly thank you for that!

Our friend obviously looked the best of us all in his snake skin suit!