Mama's Pride and Joy

A few weeks ago my son and I went to our friendly local convenience store - Milk Mart. We went there to make some copies of planes from an aviation book that my son never parts. I stood behind shelves by the photocopier but I could hear a commotion by the counter. It was about my son. An older lady was talking to the shop keeper asking something about my child. Naturally, I got interested and went towards them to investigate. I walked and thought that "this better be positive because at this point I am not prepared to fight older ladies at the friendly local Milk Mart!" Indeed, I couldn't have wished for a better reply. The store keeper informed me that the woman was asking who the little boy's mother was. He quickly pointed to me. The lady made a few steppes closer to me and said," I just want you to know that your son is most likely the best raised and the best mannered boy in the neighbourhood! He is extremely thoughtful and always says his greetings and thank yous. So whatever you are doing you are doing so well! Congratulations." She had no idea how much it meant to me! She not only made my day, my week, my year. But probably she made my decade! I finished copying all the pictures with air planes from the book, paid and I twirled out of the store like a proper proud mama should!

A few days after that another older lady stopped me on the street. We always meet her on the street with her two little miniature puddles. She complemented my son on his manners. I admit, I always take time to explain to him the importance of appropriate respect that is owed to older people. This lady could not believe that such a small boy could be so polite and respectful. She also admired how he always walks with me holding his mama's hand. I have to say that he is growing up now and begins to question the necessity of that ritual. But I just tell him that this is how you walk with a person that you love and care for...in case they fall or something of that sort. Besides it is automatic that the person you care for is also the person that you cannot let go! It works every time! I hope he always holds my hand...in case I trip or so! My perfect little man! A gentleman!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa44VcnMxnk

I know, I know. I need to get with the program. I understand that I will have to eventually let go of his hand and let another girl hold him. But I am just saying that I am not ready yet. Not today, not tomorrow, not this or next year!! And I don't care who know it!

Can You Spare a Square?

I walk into the Gulf Shore Campground's ladies' washroom. Sit down and make myself comfortable. I get ready to go, when suddenly I notice that there is not an inch of toilet paper. I am sure you all can associate with that sudden anxiety. But I hear a woman in the stall next to me. I decide to take action! I do not waste time on hesitation and ask for help. The lady is very nice and kindly shares a few squares with me. Automatically, I love her for her humanity!

That evening I go to the washroom to wash salty air off my face. I recognise the shoes in the area by the sink. It is that same lady who saved my life this morning! Naturally I decide to strike a conversation and thank her again. As we both complete our evening hygiene routines we have a friendly chat. I glance at her. She is a women in her fifties. Pale skin, fragile, my height. It is hard to miss a scarf on her head. It is hiding her head from the signs of chemotherapy. In my mind and heart I wish her all the best and lots good health. My wishes flow from the deepest and the warmest parts of my heart. Really, I am thinking that it is unfair and that it only happens to the kindest of us!

I say, "Thank you for this morning. You really saved me there!" She turns to me and smiles. " Ah! It was you? Do you ever watch Seinfeld? At first, I wanted to say 'no! I can't spare a square' to you. But my second thought was that you might misunderstand if you are not familiar with Seinfeld. So I didn't. I didn't want to offend." We both smile. I assure that I am familiar with Elaine's predicament. We both have a good laugh about the square to spare. She tells me how she and her daughter often reference Seinfeld. I promise her to go back to watch the episode in question. We part as friends.

Photography is a Blessing.

Photography, cameras, pictures. They stir opinion, convey information, teach new facts. They also freeze moments in time. Bring back memories of things, places, times, people that are long gone from your "now". The only downfall of it is that it cannot actually bring back the past and roll it out again into reality. Therefore, they create a lot of melancholy. But I will take it any day over forgetfulness and ignorance of fleeting time.

I look at pictures from the Sea of Japan. It seems like yesterday that we were sitting in warm sea water like two little girls. Our bums in water, legs out stretched in front. We were stirring sand with our fingers and fishing out beautiful stones. We were having our sincere, truthful, heart-to-heart girl talk. Honesty was truth, and truth set us free. It felt like "two princesses fixing each other's crowns".

Then, I remember how we drove to the nearest shop by the sea. You were stirring the wheel and I was navigating my "to the left! To the right!" Driving teenager style. I am smiling when I write this. That weekend camping on the beaches of Niigata and Yamagata should not go away forgotten. I remember because of this one picture. I love photography. I don't know why you came back to me today...maybe it was that solar eclipse...I don't know. I miss you, friend!

Back from Vacation

Sunday morning I washed off the rest of the Atlantic breeze. I watched how red sand from the Nova Scotia beaches ran down the shower floor and disappeared into dungeons of the drain system. All I have left is faint bits and pieces of sun kisses on my skin. I feel like the best moments of the summer have passed already. As if we left them in Pugwash, Nova Scotia. We lost them in our footprints on the ocean floor. What do I do now? How is it even possible to beat that!

I think I should grab my son's hand and hide from radars and sonars for a day. The subway or metro will give us refuge that we need now. TTC take us somewhere safe and kind! Somewhere where we can survive the tragic "coming back from vacation" syndrome without losing our sanity.
Happy Monday, friends!

I Need to Make a Footprint Quick!

I have been talking with my friend lately and she said something that really stirred up my thoughts. We talked about how i am always concerned with not inconveniencing anybody and stirring away from knowingly and unknowingly hurting anybody or getting in anybody's way. I always separate my garbage into recyclables and non recyclables. I reuse all my plastics whenever i can. I want to minimise my impact on the planet that i am borrowing from my son and his children.  My friend said something so revolutionary that it has never occurred to me. "Your footprint may be smaller than you think." My footprint maybe smaller than I think. You know she actually might be right. I am still going to do what is right by the environment and my descendants. However, what about leaving something that is good after myself. I MUST do something so that the world knows about my tiny moment. I have to leave a little "EWA WAS HERE" carved in the future of this planet. How? What can I do? And now I am worried. Do I have enough time to do that? I MUST leave a footprint! Help!! I am going NUTs!

What do I know? What can I do well? Ah! Yes! I can paint! Upfgghh! I feel better now. I have painted and sold some paintings. So there is hope! I need to do more!! Please Help! I have started this new thing lately. I have began to paint a lot of portraits. People are happy with my work. So if you know of anyone or you yourself need a portrait please let me know. ewazdanowicz3@gmail.com. The choice of materials and the costs are all negotiable.  I will be more than happy to paint you. Let's talk. It will make you happy and it will help me reach my goal of leaving a footprint...a household at a time!

Childhood Memory of Checkers with Dad

I have flashes of when I was a little girl, maybe grade 1, maybe younger. I remember evenings with my dad. We would sit in the living room and play checkers. I would win every time. Now I know that my father was building my confidence by letting me win each and every time. At the same time he would tell me how to win and not to offend or belittle others. Now I know how incredibly thoughtful and giving it was of him to make me understand both sides of the coin. I remember we would have these matches with a snack. Often it would be a small plate with tiny sandwiches. My mom would cut bread and fatback into 1x1cm squares so it would be more inviting for me to eat. It was back when in Poland even having fatback was a privilege. We were lucky. Thanks to dad's respectability and swiftness with people and my mom's ability to "manage" we were never short of anything that we needed to live comfortably as children. For my parents it must have been a lot more challenging. I am sure my mom's memories of those days are less idyllic.

Another thing that I remember from my evenings with daddy is how he would sit down by the table and start peeling sunflower seeds. When he got a bigger amount he would call me and tell me that it was ready. I would gobble it down in a split second! Was I spoiled? Yes, very much so. Spoiled with love and sacrifice. But when it was time to teach me right from wrong my parents didn't hesitate. I think I turned out ok. That extra little work that my parents did just to make me feel special taught me a lot about system of trust and work ethic . Idyllic story! Now I know how incredible my parents were to me. It was never about them. It was all about me. I wish I knew then what I know now so that I could show and tell them how much I love and admire them. I say it again, it all was never about them, what they liked, what they wanted to do. It was all about me and my brothers. It was that "IT" that made me the person I am today.

Witold Pruszkowski Sielanka (1880)

These days we get so comfortable and seek what we want, what makes us comfortable. We fix things so that it suits us and reflects our privacy and individuality.  Instead, we should strive and concentrate on what will make our children happier, smarter and more honest people. You think that you hate chlorine or the water is too cold so you choose not to take your children to the poor? Wrong! It is not about you! It is about them getting their leisure, exercise, skills, play time! It is also about gaining their trust and developing a relationship with them. Children gain all that through play. Then, what is really stopping you from going to the pool saturated with chlorine once a week? This is just an example. I am not presenting any person or persons known to me. Just saying...stay focused on what it is really about! It is like that song "Cats and a cradle and a silver spoon". You get back what you put in! And yes! Keep your eyes on your OWN bowl of soup! Just saying!

Barber's Portrait

After delivering the hairdressers portrait I was offered another commission. A barber who rents a chair at the same salon asked me to do his painting. He made one request, however. He asked me to do it in black and white. I agreed without realising how challenging it would be. The biggest problem I had was establishing different hues of grey for different colours. It took me a week to complete, loads of  oxide black, titanium white, a touch of phthalocyanine blue. And here is it.

Step 1. On paper

 Step 2. On canvass

 Step 3. First coat of paint

 The finished product. Barber. August, 2017

I dropped it off yesterday but it was busy so the barber had no time to unwrapped his painting. But this morning when i came to ask if he was happy with it. Both, the owner of salon and the barber were all smiles and happy. I am glad I could freeze them forever on canvass. And at the same time, I am leaving something behind. I small footprint of my own self.

Have a great long weekend, friends!

Conquistador of Truth

Today I was called a Conquistador of Truth for my posts at this particular blog. For my opinions, perceptions and remarks. Also, I was told to stay true to my heart by someone who recognised my innocent belief in good and being good regardless of others around me. So I dedicate this post to Truth. Because Truth will set me free.

I admire and applaud people when their are having true human emotions and when they are not afraid nor ashamed to show them. And I think that my blog is really about that. Even though it started as a way of showing my art and putting it in the context of my experiences, memories and emotions. This morning I witnessed a small scene as if taken from a movie, right in front of my eyes. There was an elderly couple in front of me in the line up to the cash register at a supermarket. A woman was a small, delicate looking lady with long grey hair. You could sense she went thought a lot in her life.  There was a gentlemen with a cane with her. He was limping. Nevertheless, he tried to be very helpful. He kept putting grocery out of the cart and with each item asked, sort of a permission, if it was ok the way he did it. She was on the other side of the register "bagging" the scanned items. When all of the items from the shopping cart were out. The gentleman secretively reached into a bucket with flowers and quickly put a bunch of red roses on the counter and placed a $20 bill on them, I am thinking, so that his partner wouldn't find out how much it cost or paid for them. 

The cashier and I exchanged a few good smiles and looks. I bet we both were thinking the same thing. It was too cute and too nice. And no matter what age or status they were it was just plain romantic! Once the transaction was complete, the older gentleman pulled out the flowers and gave them to the lady. She seemed like a little girl. She looked around at me and the cashier and saw us smiling. Her eyes were saying: "What is this for? You really should have!" It was so cute. The cashier and I exchanged another share of wishful thinking looks and they were gone from the store. 

Of course we don't know who these people are and how they are towards each other on daily basis, behind the closed door. I am just saying those little moments of love and appreciation are worth living for. Sometimes we speak different love languages and it is important to decipher that one nice gesture the other is doing to make us feel special. But also, it is important to do these gestures on daily basis. Don't take relationships for granted and expect the other to just know and feel that they are being loved. A small gesture goes a long way!

Ewa. Age 44

Have a wonderful night my friends! I will talk to you in a few days. I have just celebrated  my 44th birthday. Yay! So I have been busy, speed-growing-up-to-being -44. On top of that I have been trying to finish a painting. Once that is done  I will be writing more often, I promise. At least until the next painting.