I have flashes of when I was a little girl, maybe grade 1, maybe younger. I remember evenings with my dad. We would sit in the living room and play checkers. I would win every time. Now I know that my father was building my confidence by letting me win each and every time. At the same time he would tell me how to win and not to offend or belittle others. Now I know how incredibly thoughtful and giving it was of him to make me understand both sides of the coin. I remember we would have these matches with a snack. Often it would be a small plate with tiny sandwiches. My mom would cut bread and fatback into 1x1cm squares so it would be more inviting for me to eat. It was back when in Poland even having fatback was a privilege. We were lucky. Thanks to dad's respectability and swiftness with people and my mom's ability to "manage" we were never short of anything that we needed to live comfortably as children. For my parents it must have been a lot more challenging. I am sure my mom's memories of those days are less idyllic.
Another thing that I remember from my evenings with daddy is how he would sit down by the table and start peeling sunflower seeds. When he got a bigger amount he would call me and tell me that it was ready. I would gobble it down in a split second! Was I spoiled? Yes, very much so. Spoiled with love and sacrifice. But when it was time to teach me right from wrong my parents didn't hesitate. I think I turned out ok. That extra little work that my parents did just to make me feel special taught me a lot about system of trust and work ethic . Idyllic story! Now I know how incredible my parents were to me. It was never about them. It was all about me. I wish I knew then what I know now so that I could show and tell them how much I love and admire them. I say it again, it all was never about them, what they liked, what they wanted to do. It was all about me and my brothers. It was that "IT" that made me the person I am today.
These days we get so comfortable and seek what we want, what makes us comfortable. We fix things so that it suits us and reflects our privacy and individuality. Instead, we should strive and concentrate on what will make our children happier, smarter and more honest people. You think that you hate chlorine or the water is too cold so you choose not to take your children to the poor? Wrong! It is not about you! It is about them getting their leisure, exercise, skills, play time! It is also about gaining their trust and developing a relationship with them. Children gain all that through play. Then, what is really stopping you from going to the pool saturated with chlorine once a week? This is just an example. I am not presenting any person or persons known to me. Just saying...stay focused on what it is really about! It is like that song "Cats and a cradle and a silver spoon". You get back what you put in! And yes! Keep your eyes on your OWN bowl of soup! Just saying!
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